March 25, 2015 by jayce428
Being submissive isn’t about degrading yourself to the point you can’t look yourself in the mirror and only feel negative about yourself – instead of being comfortable enough with yourself to open up to another person(s). A submissive can feel hurt if people say rude things like: stupid, fat, crybaby, or other things like that.
This is also difficult since as a submissive I have to deal with the difficulty of having low self-confidence, due to being called things like stupid and fat, and which now I’ve gotten to the point I have to be really close to someone to expose my submissive self to them. I just don’t have the trust to allow someone who I don’t have a lot of knowledge about to see my submissive self, and it depends on how deep our relationship runs to decide whether or not I will.
And it’s been pointed out many times that advertisements about clothing will make us feel self-conscious as well, which I recently noticed when I went to Costco – I felt like I have to be skinnier to be accepted. The reason I brought this experience is because I don’t venture very far out of my town since I don’t have a license. When I go out I try to act apathetic about it, but even on the inside I’m still scared and insecure which probably shows on the outside.
There are some key things that can increase self-confidence that I’ve noted:
1) Take care of yourself – I have a habit (if I’m feeling negative about myself) that I will neglect myself and to try to make myself better I groom myself.
2) Dress in What makes YOU feel Comfortable or Sexy – I don’t like being overly dressed when I’m just going shopping, I’ll let myself dress in something more comfortable or let myself feel good about certain aspects of my body I like.
3) List Your Positive Attributes – What part of your personality and your life do you like the most? I always notice that I’m very smart and I’m unusually kind towards people which makes me feel better.
4) Live by your Ethics – Even though I’m into BDSM and many other things that doesn’t mean others have to be into it: because everyone has their thing. Generally I will treat everyone the same upon meeting them until I learn more about them.
5) Set small reasonable goals – I have trouble making myself feel good when I set broad goals, instead try breaking up the goals into smaller ones. For example, I want to lose 50 pounds, but I don’t want to make that the goal instead I could break it down instead break it down into increments of 10 instead.
6) Try looking at things differently – I have a habit of calling my fetishes ‘weird’ which is the general word used by media to describe fetishes, but instead I’ve developed a way of changing that – instead of saying it’s weird I try to way ‘unconventional’. Which is a longer word but it lessens the blow significantly.