My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?


November 14, 2014 by jayce428

female legs in pantyhose and shoes on high heels

Fantasies are a great way to explore what you might be into and that shouldn’t scare you – if you don’t feel safe practicing something different then you need to evaluate why you don’t feel safe doing so.

I would say experiment with your sexual fantasies, just start light and you might find out you weren’t into it, or you are into it and would like in incorporate that into your sex life with partner or yourself. And as you get more into it you can if you want increase the intensity gradually, which the increase of grades might be the actual fear. The fear that sexual acts with escalate is not a rational fear, if you’re having adult vanilla sex it’s rather boring, but adding a blindfold and crop just spices things up.

When I started out I had a fantasy about being bent over the kitchen counter and spanked with a wooden spoon, and loved the hell out of it and have incorporated that into my life. The BDSM part of my life does encroach into my normal life, like with this blog, but it hasn’t taken over my entire life. But it’s not something you should be ashamed of, and if the subject does come up in a conversation just be cool and answer honestly. Yeah, you might get someone saying: ‘that’s weird’ or ‘eww’, but if your confident about it it’s not going to faze you, or you might get offended which should be natural.

There shouldn’t be any fear getting ‘too into’ BDSM because what happens in the bedroom should between you and your partner or yourself.

The thing that bothers me is when people are concerned that BDSM will some how take over your life, wouldn’t you think that sex would envelop your life if this concept applied to everything?


4 thoughts on “My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?

  1. FervidM says:

    It can take over your entire life, if you choose to allow it. I did, and I am very happy with that choice. You are correct in your thinking, as it can be as involved in your daily life as you chose to make it. Though, it’s far more intoxicating than I anticipated it would be.


    • jayce428 says:

      Yes, I did let it do so as well, I just didn’t want anyone to think that they become entirely powerless against it. People still have the power to decide whether if they do or don’t want it invading their life.

      BDSM has become a central point of income for myself because I was good at it, and because I’ve viewed normal as utterly boring.


  2. FervidM says:

    I am with you, 100%. I struggled for such a long time because no other lifestyle (or man, for that matter) seemed to measure up. I still, ultimately, believe it’s a decision you can make…For me, it’s a rather easy choice. I truly don’t understand vanilla romances…they just aren’t enough for me. Excellent post!


  3. You’re thoughts are very well articulated and represent what the vast majority of people believe when it comes to this lifestyle.

    When I first met my husband, I had no idea what I wanted. He asked, “what are your fantasies” and I had no answer. But slowly we incorporated fetishes and BDSM into our lives and now it’s a very important aspect. We have, unlike many, decided to make it a larger part of our lives by making videos, performing as a fetish couple and holding classes and seminars on this lifestyle.

    But regardless of how far we take it, we definitely subscribe to your outlook.


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