Does BDSM Corellate With Abuse?

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October 27, 2014 by jayce428

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“Role-playing comes at a pretty high cost. If a husband always wants to play pirate to his wife’s captive role, the wife only learns one slice of who he is in love-making. She doesn’t get to see him vulnerable.”

“BDSM bothers me because it offers a sexually arousing practice that re-enacts punishment.”

“Further, I believe arousal at someone else’s pain indicates something about pain in that person’s life. If Sue gets turned on by hurting her friends, even if her friends want to be hurt, we call this a problem. Even if it’s between two consenting adults.”

“Perhaps there are wives and husbands who can make love untinged by any sexual or emotional abuse, couples who role-play fantasies of authenticity. Perhaps they walk BDSM’s razor edge between pleasure and pain to successfully arouse each other without re-enacting or committing abuse.”

Soulation

I cam across this article about a week ago and it really bothered me – the author said “I’m not a sex therapist. I’m not a counselor.But, as a philosopher I have some ideas. And with a bit of trepidation, I’m going to share them on the question on BDSM”. They don’t have a degree in psychology and their in no way an expert on the subject. This is the sort of thing that’s bothered me since the only two resources that the author has are ‘Fifty Shade of Gray’ and Wiki. This is obviously a person who is against BDSM relationships. I don’t have any respect for those who obviously don’t take the time to thoroughly researching the subject before commenting on the subject.

On a lighter end of the subject, researchers have actually discovered that “BDSM Practices Are Healthy” when the research was complete sites such as Ipgcounseling and askmen came out with articles responding to the research letting their readers know that BDSM practices are healthy. 

“But a team led by a researcher at Tilburg University has found that instead, people who practice these behaviors in the bedroom (at least) are actually quite psychologically healthy. Reporting in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, Andreas Wismeijer and Marcel van Assen, psychologists at Tilburg, found that practitioners of BDSM were not only psychologically healthy, they were less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less sensitive to rejection, and more self-assured than people with “normal” sex lives. All these are signs of psychological health.”

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I was excited to learn that this was the case, and wasn’t quite surprised that this was the case. Many times I’ve read memes from vanilla men saying: ‘my woman should be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen’ – this would be that the men don’t have the women’s best interest in mind for their ‘women’. But in a BDSM relationship with a married women and man, where the man or woman being the dominant based on the agreed terms of their BDSM relationship – more often then not the dominant would take care of the submissive and have the best interest in mind while both parties having their fun.

But the conclusion that I can come to with the knowledge that I have is that the answer is: sometimes. Sometimes people that are involved with BDSM were abused, and other times they were not. The only thing to remember is – don’t you dare go up to a random stranger or friend who is into BDSM and say “I’m sorry you were abused” even as a joke, it none of your business if they were or weren’t.

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One thought on “Does BDSM Corellate With Abuse?

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